Learning how to be you

Being yourself is a difficult aspect for many of us, why? Because many of us don't understand who we are on our own:

J. Soderberg

11/19/20233 min read

Learning how to be you

The work that is needed to understand who you are is alone time, or is it?

  • Don't take a trip to the mountains for a few days to release some stress

  • Don't go in your room alone once a week or a month to just decided what you like from life.

  • Dig in to you and what you like to do

Lets say you are a person that works many hours and have a lot of responsibility for all those around you

You have no time to yourself to figure out who you are anymore because the demands you have on your time.

When will I find time to figure out who I am again?

  • You will find it in the things you are willing to do and then the things you want others to do for you.

  • What does that mean?

  • Lets say:

  • Demands are high for your time and you have a family of four

  • You have to work, cook, clean, tend to others emotional needs and you feel like you are the only one doing all the work.

  • Well you are a giver and you are maybe a little of a controller?

  • What I am not!

  • Maybe you are in the simple fact of you have people in your life that you can teach to help you, but you don't.

  • Teaching people the things you need from them is the strongest way to teach them how you want to be treated.

  • Sharing what you need from people and being painfully honest that you need help is a show of strength.

  • The more you get help from those around you, the more time you will have for yourself and time to heal or work on you.


I am a fan of good food and at times I like to cook. I am not great at it but I like to learn and help where I can. Now I found there is a limitation in my world when it comes to food and that is the people around me. The food we will be eating as a family will be determined mostly by others in my home. It is difficult to get the menu set early enough in the evening so that we are not eating too late. How can I teach my people to help me with dinner at night?

  • Start the conversation earlier in the evening of what sounds good for dinner

  • Look through out supplies to see what we could make and offer suggestions.

  • Make a list of possible dinners we can make on the refrigerator

  • Give the responsibility of dinner choice from the list to one person each night.
    Now the food selection has become someone else's responsibility to choose, now it is just up to the making part.
    Preparing the meal can be the next area of teaching

  • For those that don't have cooking skills, ask if they can get things for you that are part of the dinner.

  • This not only gets you help but teaches others where things are in the home

  • For people that aren't good at finding things, ask them to clear the table and set the plates or fill the drinks

  • Now dinner is figured out, it is cooked and everyone has put in a little more to help you be a better you.

  • You have time to learn about your people at dinner where everyone should be sitting, eating and not distracted.

  • This is a wind down time for everyone if you let it.

  • The work of cooking is complete but the clean up is the worst part for many. Or is it?

  • There might be a clean expert in your team that you did not realize enjoyed cleaning and putting things away, or just cleaning

  • Is there someone that likes putting things away? Keep learning

All of this is just a short example of how you just got some time back by asking for help.

Not only that but you just were able to learn your people better and they taught you how they like to be treated.

Practice this in other area's of your life that you are stressed in and you may find more time to be you again